i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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