it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize