between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
