escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
