Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
