Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize