Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
