we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm really busy with my period
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