I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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