I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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