i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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