I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
