I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize