My friends, they love my intelligence
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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