I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize