I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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