Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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