it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
