i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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