Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
