ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
