hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
