To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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