isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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