So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize