All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
