And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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