I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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