My balls are so social today.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
