You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
