is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
