Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
