I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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