paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
