I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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