can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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