He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
