by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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