In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My nipple is on Facebook.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
