Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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