Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
