do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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