also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
