I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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