That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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