and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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