It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
