Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
