why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
