do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
