would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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