I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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