You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Your penis caused this!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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