I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
