I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
