OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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