Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
