I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
