Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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