I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
two words...techno handjob
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
