"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I cut my penus on the lid.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize