I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
