Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i just had sex bonerless
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
