wrigley field is MILF paradise
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
